Cette nuit, j’ai insulté un moustique !

- « Bordel de merde, ça commence à me faire chier ! »

- « zzzz zzzzz zzzzz »

- « Mais tu réponds en plus, fumier, ordure etc. »

3h30 du matin, la nuit était calme, je le suppose, je dormais paisiblement. Soudain, « zzz zzz zzz » un culicidae est passé à plusieurs reprise près de moi, de mon oreille, de mon bras, s’y posant même. Le culicidae est communément appelé moustique par la plupart des gens, moi je l’appelle  : CONNARD !


Comment fait ce connard pour se rendre invisible dés que j’allume la lumière, me dis-je ? Qu’importe, je vais t’avoir. Je saisis alors un magazine posé à côté du lit, en l’occurrence il s’agissait d’un exemplaire de LUI. Je l’achète régulièrement, j’aime les reportages qu’on peut y lire. Dans le numéro que je tenais, il y avait notamment un article titré : Comment se prendre en main quand on se sent mou ?

Bref, armé de Lui (le magazine) je scrutais les murs blancs à la recherche de l’autre (le connard de moustique). Je me tenais érigé (phrase lue dans  LUI) j’étais droit dans mes charentaises, comme mon grand-père. Le duel a duré, duré, duré… duré tellement que je me suis assoupi.

Bref, une histoire à dormir debout !

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