Mail à …Marilyn Manson

Salut Zelda,

Je t’appelle Zelda, mais tu n’as rien d’une légende. D’ailleurs si tu ne sais pas pourquoi je m’adresse à toi comme ça, fais quelques recherches, il paraît que tu es un mec cultivé, alors tu trouveras.

 

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Je me rends compte que je suis un putain de provocateur, presque pire que toi. Tiens par exemple, là, je t’écris un mail et je sais qu’à la suite de ce mail, comme à chaque fois que j’écris un truc sur toi sur ZibloG, ton fan club se relaie jour et nuit pour me pourrir d’insultes. Je les lis évidemment avec un plaisir non dissimulé qui confine au plaisir orgasmique. Ça me grandit, sexuellement parlant.

Je pourrais aussi m’adresser à toi en disant « Salut Manson ». Je rappelle, au cas ou la NSA intercepterait ce mail pour le rendre public que toi et tous les membres de ton ex groupe aviez pris comme pseudo des noms de serial killer associés à des prénoms de femmes glamour. Ça donne une idée de l’infini. Pour se rendre compte, en français, ça pourrait donner un truc du genre Laetitia Dutroux ou Estelle Fourniret.

Je me souviens qu’il y a trois ans, le journal LA Weekly, un hebdo de Los Angeles avait publié un article dans lequel il était dit que tu étais accroc à la coke. Pas la boisson, mais la drogue. Tu avais répliqué par :  « Si un journaliste fait une nouvelle déclaration mensongère à mon propos, je lui rendrais personnellement visite. » Tu as bien raison, ces journalistes qui mentent comme ils respirent, s’ils avaient pris la peine d’écouter ton oeuvre, ils sauraient que tu n’aimes pas la drogue, mais c’est elle qui t’aime.

 

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J’avais bien aimé aussi la suite de ta réponse. Dans un élan de courage inouï, après avoir certainement réfléchi deux secondes à ce qu’avait de risqué le fait de botter le cul des journaleux chez eux, tu avais ajouté : « … ou j’aiderais mes fans à le faire…juste pour me rendre compte à quel point ces journalistes tiennent à leur liberté de parole. N’écrivez rien que vous ne me diriez pas en face, sinon je vous le ferais avouer… d’une certaine manière c’est une menace… »

Je t’imagine débarquer un jour chez moi. Le syndic de l’immeuble m’engueulerait certainement, j’ai l’impression que la limite de la démesure pour le syndic se situe quelque part entre Frank Michael et Didier Babelivien. Autant te dire que ta venue me vaudrait quelques quolibets bien sentis. La dame du 5éme y trouverait certainement prétexte à m’apostropher à la sortie de l’ascenseur pour me jeter un « …foutriquet ! » dans ma face.

Je repense à ton souci avec les journalistes, manifestement tu ne les aimes pas, pourtant tu as fait partie de la caste dans ta jeunesse. Critique de rock. Mais c’était juste un strapontin pour accéder à la case : artiste. Un âge d’or du grotesque a alors commencé pour toi. Je dois reconnaître que musicalement, tes premiers albums étaient plutôt sympas, il y avait une certaine part de créativité.

Comme je le disais, j’aime bien ta musique. Certaines de tes provoques aussi, tu n’inspires pas l’indifférence, ça montre du caractère. Je clique sur j’aime.

Et puis, je dois avouer un truc, je promets que c’est une réalité, avec plus de 1200 concerts à mon compteur ces dix dernières années, je n’ai jamais assisté à un concert peuplé de tant de jolies filles. Je parle des spectatrices. Pour plagier mon beau frère lorsqu’il parle de sa Golf GTI : « Ton concert est un piège à meufs !« 

Un piège à cons peut-être aussi. Ne vois d’ailleurs là aucun jeu de mot. J’explique. La dernière fois que je t’ai vu en concert, ta première partie était assurée par un obscur groupe norvégien vaguement black metal répondant au doux nom de Turbonegro.

J’imagine que tu les avais choisis. Quand je les ai vus, j’ai cru à une mauvaise parodie de Village People, mais version chemise brune. Chacun des musiciens portait une coiffe allemande de la seconde guerre. J’étais mal à l’aise. Je sais que depuis lors, Tim Skold ton ancien bassiste les a rejoint. Copain comme cochon.

 

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J’ai vu ensuite ta parodie de dictateur. Tu mimais un Hitler grotesque sur scène avec toute la symbolique et les couleurs des oriflammes qui vont avec. On a beau m’avoir dit que tu parodiais, j’étais mal à l’aise. On m’a même dit que tu faisais du second degré, mais là encore, c’est plus fort que moi, j’avais envie de gerber. Les scènes étaient tellement bien reconstituées qu’on s’y croyait …

« Mais non c’est de la parodie, reste : » Disait la personne à-côté de moi. Je dois avoir des gènes de journalistes, je sentais que je n’arrivais pas à entrer dans ton délire. Faire semblant… une caricature. Certes.

« Prends ça comme une critique subtile des nazis, » me disait-on encore.

On me disait ça, alors que j’étais devant la fosse, en bas de la scène là on l’on prend des photos. Oui, je suis un putain de journaliste à mes heures.

Je me suis alors retourné pour regarder la foule juste derrière moi et m’assurer que c’était bien une parodie, une caricature, de la dérision. Et je me suis retrouvé face à plusieurs types portant des casquettes nazis. Eux non plus n’avaient pas compris que c’était pour du faux.

_________________

PS : Si tu viens me rendre visite à la maison, ne prends pas l’ascenseur, il déconne souvent et passe par la pizzeria, on se fera une soirée foot, on regardera les Diables.

Tous les ‘Mails à… ‘ sont ICI

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